Should Have Known

We used to be perfect; you and I
But I should have known it was a matter of time
I was told -“don’t be bitter and let love pass you by”
“Don’t dwell on your past”... “just let go”... “give it time”
“Let down your guards or you’ll end up alone”
Despite my better judgment I somehow let go
But deep down I should have known
With every touch, so gradually, you seeped into my soul
I lost control and there I was (such a fool)
Somehow... deeply in love wit you
I saw past your shortcomings; made peace with your flaws
Justified your absence; ignored signs through it all
Convinced myself of a lie, a life we had; you and I
But the truth is I should have known... but why?
Why did I pretend that we were something more
Your words lead me to believe it was my love you lived for
Now I sit here at night wishing I could go back; somehow retreat
Back to the days my heart still had a beat
Back to those nights when in your arms I'd fall asleep.
When love was more than just a fantasy
Back before you destroyed the best of me
I know that I knew but why did I not really know better
The lie that I lived when you and I were together
They say that this word “love” makes you do crazy things
That its beautiful but they don’t mention the suffering
Or the pain that you feel when the bottom falls out
When you look back on this “love” and your hearts filled with doubts
Was it real? Was it a lie? Did it really just end?
Can I piece my life back together yet again? If so when?
The love and the hate I feel for you run a race
I can’t even think of which will take first place; I’m confused
I should have known better but I still can't understand
How it is that after all this pain you're still that man
The realist love that my heart till this day has ever known
But you’re also the one who turned my heart to stone
Though through this pain and the years I know that I’ve grown
Somehow... I still should have known to let go

-APS-